Things I’ve learned from my co-workers
I’ve been on the job near four months now, and these are a few things my co-workers have taught me (or attempted to):
- Chicken from the McChickens and Chicken McNuggets come from egg laying hens who are past their egg laying prime. One of the Flash developers lived on a farm as a kid, and apparently the chickens get chucked into this thing that’s similar to a tree chipper. It pulls the feathers off of the birds while killing them and deposits them into the back of a waiting truck. Apparently this is the most humane and efficient way of doing it. 9 year old kids are paid to carry the chickens to their fate, two at a time. The dogs on the farm love rolling around under the machine because blood and guts sorta rain down while this process goes on. Oh, and some of these chickens also go to Purina. Yep, that’s right, your McChicken is also dog food grade chicken.
- Apparently the world would be a better place if everything was ActionScript 3. I happen to disagree.
- You can make a stun gun out of a disposable camera and some cheap wire. This can melt skin.
- A good cleanse involves drinking enough liquids to pee every 45 minutes.
- One of the most important things in life is to give a girl a big rock. I would love to introduce her to my buddy Jesse, who can rant for hours on African blood diamonds.
- The biggest KKK group in Canada is in Salmon Arm. I thought it was in Prince George, but that’s probably Hedy Fry’s fault.
- It is a bad idea to sniff the air near a woman and say, “Your scent is different today.” It is a really bad idea to attempt to explain that it is a joke afterwards. It is an even worse idea to say that your “joke” was a quote from a movie about a serial killer that kills women and makes perfume out of them. Fortunately, the girl in question was a pretty good sport about it and passed it off as the guy being a giant dork.
- You can captivate the patrons of Starbucks for an entire hour just by playing Stepmania on your laptop.
- It is probably a bad idea to date the part owner of your favourite restaurant and have a messy breakup. And keep going there for lunch. While she’s on shift.
I must say, it certainly hasn’t been boring, nor is the cast of characters that I interact with every day.