The Penalty Box

So as it turns out, people don’t like the new jersey.  Cluttered design is bad, who knew? Anyways, I regularly visit the Something Awful forums, and there’s a good hockey discussion group there.  Courtesy of some Photoshop skills by some of the posters over there, they churned out some alternate designs using the new jersey.  Behold the no wordmark and centred logo look and the text only Rangers ripoff look.  I think if they absolutely insist on having the wordmark (bloody marketers), then put it on the goddamn away jersey.  The home crowd knows it’s fracking Vancouver.  I’d buy a non-wordmarked jersey, but as it stands right now, Reebok’s not getting any of my money.

Speaking of Reebok, here’s the pricing scheme.  There are going to be 3 levels of pricing: authentic, premiere and you-don’t-want-this-crap.  Authentic will cost $250 USD (~$260 CAD), so not much change from last time around.  Premiere will cost $114 USD (~$120 CAD), about a $20 markup from previous replicas.  The third tier will be about $80 USD or something.  So what’s the difference? Authentics are the same: fight strap, ice quality stuff.  Premieres are the current replicas, except if  you want it personalized, it’ll be HEAT PRESSED.  That’s right, you shell out over $100 for a jersey and if you personalize it, you get the iron-on crap you can buy at a dollar store.  You can only buy stitched numbers and a nameplate if you go third party or buy authentic.  The third tier? Fracking screen prints that go on t-shirts.  I guess if the league can’t get expansion fees, which completely screwed up any financial sense they had left in the 90s, they’ll get it through merchandise.  It’s a wonder how these owners got rich enough to buy a team in the first place.  Their sheer ineptitude at running the team as a business cannot possibly seem to translate well into life as a successful businessman.  But then, sports teams are pretty much a rich person’s toy, so the rich guy doesn’t really take it as seriously as he would the business.  Either that or at least with a company there’s the board of directors to answer to.

In other news, everyone needs to go watch Hot Fuzz.  It’s a Hercule Poirot meets Bad Boys kind of movie.  If you liked Shaun of the Dead, you’ll like this one.  I’ve been watching movies most of this weekend.  I feel like I should’ve been more productive somehow.  Oh well.

I’m not sure which designer they consulted to create the new jersey template for the Canucks, but that designer seemingly came from the same class of dumbasses that loves wordmarks (or the jackass that brought us the Flying V). Similar to Nashville and LA, the Canucks now have the word VANCOUVER stitched across the top of the logo. In a sport where the team logo is the primary identifier, and where often the simplest jerseys are the best and most elegant looking (see: Boston, Detroit, Montreal), some marketing douchebag decided to go against the grain and try to make it “unique.” In doing so, he/she has effectively told all hockey fans “You are a dumbass” by putting the city name on the jersey. Why not put a goddamn map on it while you’re at it, and REALLY tell people where the team is from? Can’t confuse it with Vancouver, Washington now, can we?

I’m not sure if it’s some idiotic 2010 marketing ploy or if it was some silly idea to try to combine as many past jersey elements together to form the new look, but the VANCOUVER wordmark completely ruins the look of the jersey. Now it’s cluttered, distracts from the logo and puts letters too close to the captain’s letterings. What are they going to do, increase the size of the C and A in VANCOUVER to identify the captain and alternate captains?

Taking 30 seconds with Photoshop’s clone tool yields this. Isn’t that much better? The logo has less colours, making it more brandable. That satisfies the idiot marketers. The team identifies with the logo. The colour scheme is awesome. IT’S NOT CLUTTERED. This whole silly campaign of Reebok trying to put its stamp on the jersey market after buying out CCM is retarded, and it’s letting deluded executives and drugged up designers come up with horrible after horrible idea. Vertical piping? Lacing on a modern cut? Off-coloured sleeves? Numbers on the front? This is not basketball. Frankly, with all the stupid “Let’s combine everything in the past into one!” ideas, why not go all the goddamn way?
God willing, there will be enough of a public outcry to remove that stupid wordmark. But who am I kidding? It’ll sell out because people are excited about the upcoming season, a season that follows a division championship and a semi-extended playoff run. Don’t even get me started on the new pricing scheme for jerseys, brought to you by the asspirates at RBK. That’s for another post.

The C in the hockey stick/rink shape was plain, elegant, simple and classy.  It shouldn’t have been changed in the first place.

I don’t know if you’ve lived here long, I can’t tell. You don’t dress like a flaming Honger or others of that ilk. In case you didn’t know, it rains a lot in this part of Canada. You obviously are prepared, given that you have an umbrella. However, it does appear that you need some sort of training in the operation of such a device. I know it can sometimes be complicated, especially if you have the mental capacity of a six year old (maybe your mother drank during her pregnancy, I don’t know). But here’s a tip: when you are sitting down, don’t sweep your umbrella over the seats in front of and beside you. Rain makes things wet, and your umbrella is no exception. In making this retarded move, you have just soaked three seats and flung water onto another two. People need to sit there, dumbass, and it’s not going to help their mood to have to sit on a wet seat when the weather gods are attempting to create the second coming of the Great Flood. Close your umbrella and wrap it up before you sit down instead of flinging water everywhere because you’re too incompetent to put away your umbrella properly.

Yours in contempt,
Eugene

Do any of you have irritating public transit stories? If so, do share. I know not all the transit misfits are residing in my neck of the woods.

On a lighter note, I found this little gem after watching Just For Laughs. This is for fans of Queen and classic rock.

(Linky)

I had to attend a family lunch today.  There are good ones and bad ones.  Today was one of the bad ones.  I don’t mean “bad” as in “ZOMG FAMILY DRAMA” but more “bad” as in “kill me out of boredom, please.”  All of my cousins didn’t show, so I was the only “kid” there, so to speak.  Thinking ahead, I brought along my DS in case my cousins decided to cop out (which they did).  Unfortunately, the boredom gods were spiteful today, and the battery on my DS died.  As a result, I had to give more free computer advice to my uncle, who by all account should never be allowed to use one.  Ever.  He keeps buying things like Norton Internet Security when his son tells him not to and he wonders why his computer slows to a crawl.  It’s one of those times where you want to say “listen to those who know more than you and stop being a dumbass” but you can’t.
The choice of restaurant was not a good one either (Earl’s).  Of all the western style restaurants listed above “fast food,” Earl’s seems to have the least selection.  They had more wine selections than food selections, which says something.  The food took almost an hour to arrive, from order time to serving, and the waitress forgot something as simple as water.  Also, apparently finding change was a difficult exercise as well.  Is “subtraction” a skill not required for being in food service?

It was not just the restaurant that made the experience unpleasant.  My uncle, the same one that shouldn’t be allowed to use a computer, is a rather picky eater.  However, he refuses to actually read the menu.  He ordered a seafood pasta, which is somewhat of a misnomer on the part of Earl’s because it mostly contains salmon.  This is outlined quite clearly in the menu, but he didn’t read it and decided to complain there was too much salmon when it arrived.  He had the foresight to ask if the sauce was alfredo, because he’s semi-allergic to tomatoes, and the waitress told him it was a mix of tomato and alfredo.  He ordered it anyways.  He complained about that when it arrived too.  Of course, this was done out of the earshot of the waitress, because he’s a passive aggressive complainer like that.  Another “please shut up” moment in which I couldn’t say “please shut up.”

A little over two hours after arriving at the restaurant, we dispersed to head home.  That’s the average time for most family lunches like this, but this time even the food didn’t make up for the length and the complaints of my uncle.  And I still had to finish off what my grandmother couldn’t finish.  Because I’m still a growing boy and all.

Sometimes there are advantages to being flaky and disappearing from family events.

The NHL All-Star Ballot results came in, Rory ended up #3. I call shenanigans on the NHL. Of course, the NHL managed to get all the marketing for it by doing absolutely nothing for it. It’s pretty bush-league, but that way they keep their “stars” at the All-Star game and deny Rory a chance to play. It’s pretty stupid how so many pundits cried foul about it because the All-Star game should be about the high scoring players. Yes, the same game that made John Garrett and Bob freaking Probert all-stars. Kinda funny how Don Cherry and Wayne Gretzky forgot that little tidbit. Meanwhile, Jonathan Cheechoo is going to be an all-star after having a very ordinary season. Looks like the All-Star Game is back to being a gong show, worthy to be ignored.

Once again the NHL proves it knows jack shit about its fans and what the fans want. They claim to be there for the fans and yet somehow Rory loses all those votes and there’s a sudden “surge” for Niedermeyer and Lidstrom? Look at the numbers per week:

Look at week 4 in particular.  Not rigged? Yeah sure, NHL.  But of course, the NHL holds all the cards so no one can really question them on it.  I swear, if Naslund is selected as an All-Star, I’m going to shoot something.  And I’m a Canucks fan!

There was another power outage at my house today.  That makes 3 in a week.  One on the 2nd, one of the 5th and one today.  Wind was apparently the culprit, but come on, three in a week? Whatever preventative measures BC Hydro is claiming to take is clearly not working in my neighbourhood.

I really don’t know why this is, but whenever someone misspells my name, they always spell it “Eugine” (well, aside from the poor phonetic “Yu-jean” or similar attempts, but those happened to my classmates when I was bloody 7).  Is this common? Because I have never seen this spelling anywhere, ever.  It’s too close to “engine,” and one does not pronouce that word “en-jeen.”  Not properly pronounced anyways.  So what makes people put an “i” in the middle of my name? In what word is “gine” pronounced “jeen?” Is my name really that hard to spell? I suppose these are the same people that find it difficult to spell “Chin” as well.  Maybe my Chinese blood radiates some sort of misspell aura, because I sure as hell can’t figure out why a name spelled “ene” everywhere else is spelled “ine” because people have to guess.

It’s snowing right now, the first time I’ve seen snow off a mountain this early in years.  I expect the ground crew up at SFU to be terribly slow with the plowing and salting as usual.  Then again, the rest of the Lower Mainland isn’t exactly on the ball with the whole snow thing either.  It’s like everyone panics and takes three times as long to make decisions.  Get the bloody plows and salt trucks out there you nitwits.  Ah, bureaucracy, what won’t you screw up?

I imagine the ski hills are rather fantastic right now.  It’s a shame I don’t hold any interest whatsoever in skiing/snowboarding, because I’d probably be a lot more excited about snow than I am right now.  As such, I’m closer to annoyed than anything else because it’ll make the trip out to the bus station more complicated than normal.  At least the train isn’t bothered by snow.  On the plus side, I’ll need to bring my camera to work.  I’m pretty sure that from the 26th floor, I’ll have some fantastic shots of a snow-graced cityscape.  I can see GM Place, BC Place and Science World from my office, and the other day I saw the coolest looking rainbow.  I really ought to bring my camera more often.

Unless you haven’t drank water in the last week and have been living under a rock, you’re aware of the boil water advisory for the Lower Mainland. This sparked a surge of stupidity as people rushed to Costco, Superstore, Wal-Mart, et al to get their hands on bottled water. It was pretty ridiculous as people pushed and shoved to buy flats of water. Keep in mind this was a “boil water” advisory, not a “we have no water” advisory. So it takes a little longer and a little more effort for you to drink water. And okay, it tastes a little funnier because of the higher than normal amount of sediment. Do you really have act like a complete jackass to buy “cleaner” water?

It amazes me how gullible people are about bottled water. That it’s “cleaner” than tap water, and “safer.” I don’t think these people really realize that BC water is some of the cleanest on the damn planet and that most of the time, bottled water is filled with more crap (literally and figuratively) than tap water from BC pipes. I’d recommend people to watch Penn & Teller’s Bullshit! episode on bottled water if you haven’t already. That “spring water” doesn’t even come from a spring, and the source may surprise you.

Global interviewed at least one level-headed woman, who remarked how crazy it was that people were acting so stupid about a boil water advisory. She then asked what would happen if we had an earthquake and didn’t have water at all. To paraphrase the great Bender, we’d be boned.

On another note, I had forgotten to watch the Mercer Report on Hallowe’en where he visited Stephen Harper on 24 Sussex Drive. I found the clip on Google Video. It was obviously all scripted, because Harper is not that funny or charismatic. At least it shows he has a sense of humour though, because he did go along with it. Probably trying to score points with the younger voters, many of whom see him as Dubya’s distant cousin. I see it the other way though…Dubya seems more like Harper’s retarded distant cousin who gets to play with a real gun while Stephen gets the air-zooka.

I’ve started work already, on Thursday to be exact. In the last few days, I have somewhat acclimatized to the daily commute. There are a few things that have made my unpleasant list:

• Loud cell phone talkers: I have encounted a few people on public transit that feel the need to let everyone on the bus know exactly what’s going on in their life. The injection of the word “like” in every second word garbles this supposed conversation to the point of unintelligible sound bites. Or perhaps it was the wind whistling out of the stupid twit’s ears, because it really didn’t sound like anyone with half a brain would communicate in such a fashion. No, I really don’t care if your boyfriend didn’t say “I love you” on your two month anniversary. Wait, two month anniversary? What kind of inane celebratory mark is that? Ten bucks says they just had sex earlier than she wanted and she’s trying to find some kind of emotional justification for it.
• Mixed perfumes/colognes: I’m not exactly a big fan of perfumes and colognes. I actively avoid that section if I ever find myself in a department store. Hell, the Body Shop has now somehow managed to offend my sinuses, something that never happened before. However, there’s not much you can do about it when you’re on a packed bus/SkyTrain. Still, people could learn to ease up on the perfume baths. It’s not a substitute for showering. Pheromones? With that terrible mix of Hugo Chanel No. Klein, you’re better off imitating dogs and sniffing each other butts.
• Stupid SkyTrain passengers: The early morning rush brings a rather cramped ride to work. By the time the train hits Broadway, people are lined up two deep in the aisles, there are no seats to be had and the windows are open to relieve the pungent smell of “that guy” who just passed wind. There’s a fair crowd at Broadway Station trying to get on the train to Waterfront, and people squish in pretty tightly in order to not have to wait for the next train to come. Inevitably, there are the impatient ones who underestimate the size of their fat McDonald’s built asses and try to push their way onto the SkyTrain after the nice lady on the PA speakers says “Expo line to…Waterfront.” Of course, this means the SkyTrain doors can’t close, leading to a near endless cycle of that three toned bell until the impatient person gives up and steps away or manages to pop the personal bubble of the poor sap who’s standing next to the door. Oh yeah, then there are the passengers that won’t let the ones on the train EXIT the train before trying to get on. Common sense, where art thou?
• The cost of my monthly pass: I want my UPass back dammit.
• Roadkill: For the most part, I’m pretty indifferent to most things that have gotten run over on the road. Squirrels and raccoons can be cute and all, until you remember the rabies and the food scrounging. And the fact that the beady glowing eyes of the raccoons makes them one of the creepiest mammals on the planet (just below that guy who whispers “Boom boom boom I want you in my room” whilst offering candy to women).  So if one gets run over, I’m not too choked up about it. I did see a dead squirrel on the road though, coming home. Check that, an ALMOST dead squirrel. One part of its body was flat, but the tail was stuck straight up…and still twitching. Perhaps it was already dead, and that’s a natural death twitch of some sort. Either way, not the nicest thing to look at.

In terms of work, it has gone pretty well so far. There’s a lunch outing every Friday as part of an office bonding thing, or morale booster, whatever you want to call it. We went to go see an IMAX movie at Canada Place. It was deep sea documentary in 3D so everyone got those 3D glasses. They weren’t the cardboard cutout, red and blue lens ones though. Yeah, I was disappointed too. The film was okay, but every time something came at the screen, my eyes started going cross-eyed and all over the place. That hurt. Perhaps it’s because I could still see the seats in front of me and the picture onscreen still looked 3D and up close, so my eyes and brain were kind of reacting in the “aaaagh, what the fuck are you doing to me??” kind of way.

Tomorrow begins my first Monday to Friday week at work. Which means I get to experience a Monday morning commute, something I haven’t done in 3 years since my last co-op was on campus. At least this one isn’t a 90 minute trip out to fricking Delta.