This is an installment of Good Idea, Bad Idea.
Good Idea: Biking to work
Bad Idea: Doing it with two fat tire rims stacked on your handlebars so you can’t see where you’re going
Good Idea: Working out at the gym
Bad Idea: Counting to a laughably high number while pressing free weights ten pounds too heavy for you to impress the girls. And the girls are wearing headphones.
This concludes this installment of Good Idea, Bad Idea.
In April. What the hell happened to spring?!
Because my sense of humour derives from some kind of combination of sarcasm, geek interests and my job as a programmer, I often find myself laughing at the geekiest things ever while others look at me funny. Not that there aren’t other aspects about me that make other people look at me funny, but given the number of geek friends I know, at least I’m not alone. Case in point, this is one of the funniest jokes I’ve heard in a long time.
I kinda want this on a t-shirt now. If you haven’t seen this comic before, it’s called XKCD. In a similar geek vein, any of you who are geeks in any way (or are some kind of science nerd) should watch The Big Bang Theory. It’s geek humour and doesn’t apologize for it. Plus, the theme song is by the Barenaked Ladies.
On another note, another one of my co-workers came up with an awesome quote the other day: “Bacon is like the superhero of meats.” That it is, that it is.
The Internet is a source of many a thing. Today I learned about what passes as “food” in this part of the world. No, I’m not talking about a cultural misunderstanding, like what the crazy Swedes eat or that old Chinese restaurant story. I’m talking about the weird ass crap only our neighbours to the south of us would even think about eating. Examples include Jimmy Dean’s Pancake and Sausage on a Stick and Cheeseburger in a Can (okay this one is German, but it’s sold in the States). Little did I know that this barely scratches the surface of the horror that is the packaged food industry. Behold this little gem I came across today:
Kinda makes you wonder what milk gravy is, though I don’t know if I really am THAT curious. Certainly not curious enough to try eating it. Also, the number circled in red is not a typo. It really does say 1170% of your daily recommended intake of cholesterol. Given that it’s brains, it’s not too surprising since brains are pretty much fat and grey matter. The fact that this stuff used to get sold (it’s not listed on their product page anymore) means someone thought it was a good idea.
It’s strange what people think is a good idea to eat. Sort of like that stage for a toddler where everything goes straight into the mouth. Except in this case, the toddler is suffering from fetal alcohol syndrome or had its taste buds seared off in some wacky cult ritual. I can find no other suitable explanation (other than perhaps to torture a tapeworm) for one to consume any of the aforementioned products. And to think I thought the Hungry Man meals my co-worker consumes every day were disgusting.
Dumbass - Bicyclist who decided it was a good idea to cut off a bus at 30 kph. Perhaps he’s good enough to make such a maneuver regularly, sorta like those crazy Richmond drivers that drive way better than anyone. But really, it’s dumb enough to cut off a bus in a CAR.
Disappointment - John Ferguson Junior gets fired as GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Shame really, I rather enjoyed his puzzling free agent signings and bumbling trades for #1 goaltenders. It’s refreshing to see there’s actually a team with a worse draft record than the Canucks in the last 15 years. Granted, part of his failure stemmed from terrible ownership forcing him into some bad decisions (like signing Tie Domi), but it was funny all the same.
Hilarity at another team’s expense - Cliff “Draft Shmaft” Fletcher gets hired on an interim basis to replace John Ferguson Junior. This guy got fired from the PHOENIX COYOTES (for those that don’t follow hockey, the team sucks. A lot. Mostly due to bad management). He fits right into the “trade youth for aging veterans” mantra the Leafs have been chanting since 1993. In other words, continued laughter in the general direction of Toronto. Huzzah!
Weird idea - Maple syrup diet. You read that correctly. This was something one of my co-workers talked about, at lunch break of all times. Apparently you’re supposed to eat nothing but maple syrup for two weeks and you can lose some ludicrous amount of weight. Problem is, the only that reminds me of is the scene from Super Troopers.
Word - Grubbles. I heard it from Tanya and thought it sounded neat.
Quote - Something said from one co-worker (male) to another (female): “Oh, you decided to dress pretty for once! (Pause) Wait, that didn’t come out right…” Open mouth, insert foot.
Often when I travel on the bus and obtain a seat, I usually stare out the window. My thoughts take me elsewhere, so I am not really looking at anything. Andy calls this “some kind of zen state.” I recently decided to people watch on the bus instead, thinking I might be missing something. I saw the following:
I don’t think I’m missing anything. Zen it is.
I was on the 160 coming home from work today, and since it was one of the older buses, the driver decided to see if the old clunker handled well at high speeds. I can really see no other reason why he would go along at 70 kph, passing cars. I didn’t mind, it just meant I would get home faster.
Problem is that when I got on the bus, I had to sit in the middle seat at the back. Normally, this wouldn’t be too much of an issue, but you see, buses don’t have seatbelts. When you’re sitting on any other seat on the bus, you have at least something to hold onto. Not me. To avoid T-boning a car running a red light, the driver had to go from 70 to 0 in, oh…really goddamn quickly. I was essentially launched out of my seat, with only my feet somehow moving fast enough to prevent me from headbutting a standing passenger in the crotch. That would’ve been slightly awkward to say the least.
Physics really sucks sometimes.
…Mike Keenan.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*breathe*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
In other news, today a bird got sucked into an intake valve of the building where I work. All that remained was a few feathers (my complete amateur opinion is that it was a seagull) floating around. My co-worker piped up, “does anyone smell bird?” I’m pretty sure we WILL start smelling bird if they don’t take it out soon. I don’t think the staff at Harbour Centre is as slow as Facilities Management at SFU, otherwise the building’s gonna rank up over the weekend.
People with too much time and the Internet usually doesn’t bode well, but often it yields entertainment such as this.
(Linky)
Credit to Bishnu who found this.
This item is for those people who have money to burn and also a large property to store lots of not quite useful but cool stuff. I think it’d awesome to drive around in, but so not worth $150,000.
Out-of-work life has gotten kind of stagnant. I’ve been busy with household chores, which I think will become second nature (and go a hell of a lot faster) once I live on my own permanently. I need to get to a pub at some night, even if to just watch a game. Actually, I should look up the Giants’ schedule and look for a good next game to go to.
