The Penalty Box

Fettuccine Alfredo is generally considered a heavy dish, mostly because of the heavy cream most recipes call for. Recipes involving heavy cream generally don’t reheat very well, and since I cook to make leftovers, I skipped out on the heavy cream in favour of half & half. I also whipped up a nice meatball recipe that I found pretty awesome. Let’s begin, shall we?

You should prep the meatballs and stick them in the oven first, as they’ll take longer to cook than the pasta will. Gather the following ingredients for awesome meatballs:

• 500g of ground pork (or a pound-ish depending on how many meatballs you want)
• A handful of fresh parsley, chopped fine
• 1 whole egg
• 1/3 cup finely grated Parmesan
• 2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon paprika
• 1 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/4 cup bread crumbs
• 1 pack of pork Shake n Bake

Preheat your oven to 400 F. In a large mixing bowl, combine all ingredients except the Shake n Bake. Using your hands, mix thoroughly until nothing falls out. Don’t do this too fast or you’ll fling bread crumbs everywhere (yes, it happened to me, and no, I did not take pictures. Shut up). If you’re not going to use this immediately, you can stick it in your fridge for up to 24 hours.

Pour about half the packet of Shake n Bake into a small bowl. You may not need all of it depending on the amount of meat you have. Use an ice cream scoop to portion the meat and your hands to shape the portions into rounds. Roll the rounds in the Shake n Bake and place on a baking sheet. If you don’t have Shake n Bake, use bread crumbs tossed with some salt, ground pepper and ground cumin. Stash in the oven for 25-30 minutes or until golden and cooked through.

Ingredients for the Fettucine Alfredo:

• 400g of fettucine
• 2 cups half & half
• 2 tablespoons of butter or margarine
• Pinch of nutmeg
• 1/2 teaspoon of ground pepper (or to taste)
• 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Boil a large pot of water. The larger, the better because it’ll take less time for the water to come back up to a boil after you stick in the pasta. Season with salt to taste, add some oil to the top to help prevent boil over. Cook to just before al dente; it’ll finish cooking with the sauce. In a large skillet or sauce pan, bring the half & half to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, stirring constantly (so it doesn’t stick or burn) for 4 minutes. Remove from heat. Drain the pasta and add to the half & half. Over medium heat, toss well and add the rest of the ingredients. Keep tossing until heated through and the cheese gets to a melty goodness stage. The half & half should get a creamier consistency at this stage and not be so liquidy.
When serving, use tongs and give ‘er a twist as you stick it on the plate. That should give you a couple of spots to stick meatballs. Happy eatings!