Better Know a Hockey Fan: The Gambler
I began my series of “Better Know a Hockey Fan” with The Poolie. This post features The Gambler.
The Gambler doesn’t really have a favourite team; he just cheers for whoever will win him the bet. Not unlike The Bandwagon Jumper, except The Gambler is doing it for money rather than some desperate attempt to be a part of a winning tradition. More noble? Not really, but at least it gains him something tangible. The Gambler knows the point spread, although that’s child’s play to him. He’s got bets on everything from how many fights there will be in a game (the Don Cherry Special) to how many post game interviews will feature the phrase “gotta give it 110% and keep playing our game” (Kesler’s feeling pretty cliche tonight).
When others are high-fiving a goal, The Gambler is cursing about how that just cost him the over/under bet he had on total goals. He’s also on the phone half of the game because he just found another bet to place. At this point, he’s probably got 10 large sitting amongst various dubious bookies, half of which are probably under investigation by the RCMP (and by “investigation” I mean “being ignored while they handle the latest PR disaster”). The other half is getting bailed out by the latest stimulus package. What, you thought there would be accountability or something?
The Gambler likely knows less about hockey than your average fan; all of the knowledge in his brain is comprised of current team hot/cold streaks, goals per game, recent coaching changes and the most recent win/loss goal differential. Who needs to know about offsides when you can predict when a team’s hot streak will come to an end? Play the odds right, and bam, you got yourself an easy score.
Usefulness: Unless you’re placing a bet, not much. Even then, most gamblers suck at it. You gotta be careful though, The Gambler might hit you up for some cash to make his next bet.
Next up: The Puck Bunny