Spectators
I realize that it is a common understanding in western culture that parents can’t wait for their kids to move out, particularly after dealing with the emo rage against authority teenage stage of their lives. Equally, in Chinese culture, parents can’t wait to find a rich future spouse to marry their kid off to in order to grow the family reputation, power and wealth. Despite this general stereotype, there is still the lingering seeds of doubt behind every parent’s mind when a child leaves the house; will they make it? Did I do everything I should have to prepare them?
For the most part, parents don’t really like to see their children grow up and be able to run their own lives. It means they have become spectators. After years of being active, suddenly being resigned to a sideline role doesn’t really sit well. I liken it to an athlete that is at retirement age. He doesn’t want to stop playing because he loves the game. He knows he should retire because it’s time to move on, but continuing to play only worsens his image and enjoyment of the game. Parents know when it’s about time for their kids to set out on their own. Too much involvement past a certain age does more harm than good, but sometimes they can’t help but want to remain involved.
My parents still play a few shifts in my life. They’ve been watching my sister for a few years. Heck, it’s even gotten difficult for them to watch the game anymore now that she’s out east. According to a few of my friends that have moved out, parents get exponentially crazier the more they realize they are becoming spectators. “Empty Nest Syndrome” I believe is the technical term for it. So who will actually go off the deep end first, parent or child?
Ah well, whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, right? Or…something.