The Penalty Box

Today was my convocation, ending what was my final chapter in the story of my undergraduate degree. I saw some old friends, people I knew from my Pinetree days and a couple I went to elementary school with. Not a large attendance of people I knew, mostly due to work and school commitments. Majority of my family had to work too, but my parents, my sister and my grandmother was there, so it was all good for me. I never really did well being the centre of attention. I was uncomfortable at my high school graduation and not much has changed on my view of things since then. Were it up to me, I would’ve skipped walking the stage, but my family wanted to see it. Given that they’ve put me up this many years, it’s the least I could do.

It never really hit me that I had graduated before today. Even when I got my last mark back on goSFU (aka slowSFU lawls), it didn’t feel much different. Nor did I really feel any different since then. Not even when I was interviewing for a job, or when I started working. When I got up this morning, I knew I had convocation today, but I still didn’t feel different. Even when I got my robe, and mingled during the CS reception. I still felt the same.

It wasn’t until I lined up just outside Convocation Mall that it hit me. The wind was blowing the tassle in my face, the sunshine casting angled shadows on a beautiful fall afternoon. I looked up and saw the Terry Fox statue, a frozen Terry Fox in running form, heading towards a finish line he never was able to cross. In that moment, it dawned on me. The procession I stood in was the final leg of a five year marathon (insert Star Trek joke here). The finish line was up ahead, family waiting to congratulate me. The reward for it all? Real life.

The chatter around me blurred into dull background noise and at that moment, a small ray of sunshine hit the AQ Pond. The bagpipes started up, and the procession moved. There were flashes all around as my fellow graduates had pictures being taken all over. A small rush of emotion ran through me as I thought, “I’m done. I’m actually done.”

The next hour and a half went everywhere from really boring to really really fucking boring. No less than four speeches were given, and Michael Stevenson’s speech was the same recycled speech from the last five convocations I’ve attended. That’s over a period of 3 years. Goddamn, man, with what you’re paid you could hire a decent speechwriter to revamp that speech. Hell, you could probably expense it to the university!

As the people in front of me went up to have their names read, I couldn’t help but giggle when the Faculty of Applied Sciences Dean Brian Lewis mispronounced Eli Gibson’s name. I never knew it could be pronounced Ee-lee. As I began to approach the ramp to head to the stage, my heart quickened a bit. What was it? I was nervous. Why? I don’t know. Not the same nervous as when you forget to study for a midterm or that feeling you get when you know there’s no way in hell you’re ready for that final, but just a general overall feeling of nervousness. When was the last time I felt that? Jeez. My name was announced and I walked across the stage without incident. I half expected the only cousin of mine who managed to attend to scream something silly, but I guess he wasn’t quite sauced enough to do it.

The girl in front of me had every second step captured in picture form by her father and younger brother. “Safe following distance” I kept thinking, because she stopped every few metres to pose. She seemed somewhat familiar, and apparently she recognized me. I felt kind of bad for not remembering her name, and had to sneak a look in the convocation program to find out what it was. Once I did, I didn’t feel so bad, as I had met her once previously in passing, probably when I was talking to Wilson, an engineering friend of mine.

Oh, I should also mention that when I went through the robe obtaining process, there were people that helped you put it on. Harriet came out of the blue to help me and pinned that hoodie thing to my robe. She’s one of a few people who work for SFU that I’ll miss now that I’m done. Awesome person all around, that woman.

After it was all done, I dropped by the dollar store to get a picture with Aimee. She gave me a card with well wishes from the CS crew, a pleasant surprise to say the least. Oh yeah, and this oddly shaped pen that looks like a bird. With balloons.

So I’m done. I head now full into real life, finding my spot in the rat race with a BSc in my pocket. I had different expectations when I entered university, and my plan then was not what happened over the last five years. I can definitely say now that things went better than I planned, namely because of the experiences I had and the friends I’ve made. Onward and upward and such. New challenges await.

Hello World!